Fear Is Normal – Just Don’t Set Up Camp There!
Starting something new is never easy.
Sorry. This is the truth. It doesn’t mean that it must be death-defying, but if you are setting out to do something fresh, something you’ve never done before (and hopefully rewarding) it’s going to come with a few sleepless nights and a good dose of self-doubt. Just read any bio on record-setting entrepreneurs, adventurers, or world changing do-gooders. Fear is a natural traveling partner.
What makes those that start something new and keep going overcomers is that the fear doesn’t overwhelm them, doesn’t stop them in their tracks. Some people are naturally set up to look fear in the face and laugh – heartily. Ha ha, not me. I can get overwhelmed by fear in a million different ways. From something as reasonable as cashflow, to things I can’t control, like what are the markets going to dip and how will that affect confidence? In my personal life – gosh, let’s not get started.
I remember going on a month-long road trip around all of America (and I mean ALL!) with a girlfriend who was moving from one coast to the other and learning something important about me and fear. Traveling like that was a bit spooky back then as mobile phones weren’t big, forget email and other ways to stay connected. We were on one lonely stretch of highway after another, locking keys in the car without a spare, stranded 10,000 feet up in the middle of a national park without a light or park ranger in sight. There were all kind of fear-inducing experiences on the road.
True, I was nervous and not afraid to voice it. One afternoon in the South Dakota Badlands my traveling companion remarked on my fear levels, and I replied as I realized something about myself: Yes, I am afraid, a lot, but at least it doesn’t stop me.
That’s been one of the things that’s kept me going in business and life when things get a bit rough, and I feel fear creeping in.
I ask myself – am I going to let this fear take me out? Am I going to quit? Nope.
I quit something once because it was getting all too hard. At first I felt an immense sense of relief (there ARE good reasons for quitting – that’s another blog post), but years later I truly regret letting the fear and exhaustion take me off course.
Starting something new? There WILL be fear! Here are a few things I do to me overcome:
If you wake up in the middle of the night afraid here’s what I know: EVERYTHING you worry about in the middle of the night is worse than it will be in the morning
Tell yourself: I will see this clearer in the morning, I will
Even if things aren’t better your ability to deal with them will be better
Stay away from depressants – that can be people or drugs and alcohol
When I started my business, I took a year off drinking just to clear my head and keep my spirits up – it helps!
This is another blog post, but when I wanted to meet someone, I had to stop hanging out with friends that could only see their love life as a glass half empty – it wasn’t helping!
Find your sense of joy – whatever it might be – and “go there” in your mind. Allow yourself to focus on things that make you happy
This could be as weird (I am SO nerdy) as a conjuring up a favorite fantasy novel character or plotline – I love LOTR and I imagine myself in that setting
See yourself through the fear
This might sound silly, but I don’t like flying. When I board an airplane, I say a prayer and then I see myself landing and grabning a taxi or car to my destination on the other end, package safely delivered
Have you ever been so afraid you could barely get started on a project? But then, you found that inner strength, pushed through and things turned out ok? I’d love to hear your story, please share? If you find yourself struggling with this, let me know. Perhaps we can chat!