The Power Of Encouragement

There’s a lot of chatter out there about toxic positivity, and I get it. In the context of certain circles, this is valid and legitimate. Here’s what I found online: we define toxic positivity as:

The excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations.

The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.

I agree with this; no one needs a false sense of hope or security. True. However, when I was launching my business, leaving my parent company behind (their idea!), I really didn’t have the funding I needed to make a move. I had an excellent accountant who believed in me, and a pastor who I felt had my back. But did either of them give me money, or open doors for me - like a place to land with cheap rent, or new clients to help with cash flow? Nope. 

My accountant helped me set up the entity, and showed me how to run a P&L. That was helpful. But I remember sitting in my apartment and wondering how I was going to do this. In fact, I kind of thought - for a moment - that my accountant might give me money to help me launch. Wishful thinking.

No, what both gave me, and others too (including the staff that were coming with me in the transition) was encouragement. Their encouragement wasn’t merely positive thoughts, they were heartfelt hopes (and belief) that somehow this was all going to work out. That the funding would come, that the right office would emerge, that I could afford the equipment I needed to run my business. It was a shock (silly me) when I realized I had to buy 12 of everything. Like 12 desks, 12 computers. Ha!

I could never have started the business without this encouragement. Whenever I hit a low or woke up in the middle of the night with anxiety,

I honestly felt like I had a layer of hope holding me up.

I couldn’t see the future clearly at times, but I had an overriding sense that I would get where my nose was pointed. I don’t have enough space to share all the details, but years later we were facing a $500k loss based on business falling through and with the encouraging help of my friends I had the strength of mind (and will) to pull through. I mean, I was facing total ruin. It was imminent and it was real. I could not have made it then, or now, without their encouragement. No way.

So, if you’re worried that positivity might make you look a bit vapid or insincere, once again, look at your motives. Why are you sharing an encouragement? Is it to truly back someone up? Is it something you see in them that gives you hope for them? Or are you trying to gain points? Coming from the right place, a positive word of encouragement can make all the difference between despair and hope.

If you’ve ever had positive word that really changed your world, share here. Would love to see others encouraged by your story!