Sometimes You Got to Lean OUT

Ever since Cheryl Sandberg popularized the phrase “Lean In” it’s been game on for asserting yourself at work and at home. Pretty sure she was targeting women, but it’s become a way for all of us to handle a variety of situations.

I’m a fan of asserting yourself. I mean if you don’t, who will? Taking control of your situation just feels good, doesn’t it? I’ve always thought so as a woman in business. And I’ve been unapologetic about pushing forward where I feel I have something important to gain.

However, Just recently one of my clients partnered up with another brand. At first, I thought, wow, this could be great. I’m a huge fan of the brand and my team was jazzed at the thought of getting some new business. We love the NEW! But an interesting thing happened. No matter how much I tried to put our agency out there, to pitch our services, etc., I kept getting either rebuffed, or simply falling down. My own failure at shining in the required situations was, can I say this, a bit surprising. It was kind of 101 stuff. Why was I stumbling? But the more I leaned in, the worse it got.

And that’s when I had the epiphany. This was not a time to lean in. Instead, I needed to do some serious leaning out.

All my best-laid plans were clearly not working. I wasn’t sure why things weren’t working, but I was sure of one thing, leaning in wasn’t helping. So, I gave myself permission to lean back and trust that the best thing would happen, maybe against all odds. And you know what, I couldn’t feel more relaxed. Things haven’t changed but I’m not stressed. I’m trusting this journey. Sometimes you need to take yourself out to get perspective. It feels scary because everything tells you to stay in and fight. But some of my best “wins” came after I threw up my hands and allowed the river to take me on its own meandering course.