Forgiveness Fosters Forward Momentum
Have you ever felt like you were moving along just fine and then wham! You hit a wall of resistance? And you’re not exactly sure what is going on? What’s the cause behind this smackdown? Or, maybe you detect a creeping sluggishness. A sort of waa waa moment? There could be many reasons why your forward momentum is slowing, of course. But something I figured out a long time ago is that when I sense the slowdown it’s often because I’ve allowed myself to become offended.
Unforgiveness is a Momentum-Killer
Unforgiveness, even if the offense is warranted, is a momentum-killer. True. Someone needs to hear this today. I’m not sure exactly how it works, but there is a direct correlation in my life between my ability to move forward and my willingness to keep short accounts. “But they did the wrong thing!” you said. Yes, I hear that. But YOU have the ability to decide how you are going to handle that wrongdoing. “But they need to be punished!” you insist. Perhaps they do, but are you going to be their judge and jury?
There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. And some offenses truly are grievous. But most offenses are rooted in our own “stuff.” Our own insecurities. Our own disappointments and unrealistic expectations. Am I speaking to you? I know I’m speaking to me. I’ve found that whenever I’m starting to get mired down or hit walls it’s related to unforgiveness in my heart.
Get Good at Forgiving
What do I do? I do an inventory and figure out who I might be upset with, or what situation has set me off. Then, I ask for forgiveness - it might be me that needs to be forgiven. Sometimes it’s personal and I make a call or write a note. Sometimes, they don’t even know they’ve upset me and it’s best that I go to God and ask that He forgives me. They may not know, but He knows. Sometimes you can just write a letter and never send it. Just the act of writing all those thoughts can be cathartic and bring clarity.
The Cycle of Forgiveness
Then, when I get upset about it again - which I just might do, I have a very feisty personality, I remind myself that I have forgiven that person, or made peace with that situation. Don’t beat yourself up if you circle back again. Just keep the cycle of forgiveness going.
What a difference forgiveness makes! I’ve watched it work every time. And to be honest, the circumstances might not change in a minute, but my heart always feels a lot freer, and that makes for more space to be creative. It’s a game-changer, give it a try!
Here are my tips again if you’re feeling stuck:
Figure out if you’re holding unforgiveness in your heart toward a person or situation
Ask for forgiveness, or to be forgiven
Make a call, write a note
Send up a prayer, and ask to be forgiven - or forgive that person
Write a letter that you don’t send if your offence is a personal issue that doesn’t need to be aired publicly
Be quick to forgive yourself if you circle back and get angry again
Get ready to feel free as that nasty unforgiveness slides right off your back!